I feel so wierd being here after never being in school or around my peers this often in my life. When I first arrived in my dorm and I met all of the girls, I felt like their mother almost, even though we're all 18 with the exeption of two. I don't feel that I relate to anyone here because my interests are soooo different (as if it wasnt ostraczing being a photogrpaher, let's just make me a free-spirit too). I listen to different music (like a playlist COMPLETELY different than theirs), watch different movies, have different celeb idols (i got 3 Audrey Hepburn posters today!), and speak differently. I have to catch myself when speaking to other girls on the floor: I refrain from saying "Oh, sweetie.." or "Oh honey..." or any other way that could be misconstrued as condescending.

I don't feel excluded, I just don't feel that I'm liked. People will ask me for advice, but they'll invite my roommate to party. However, when they are partying at 8pm, I'm brushing my teeth for bed...SEE!!?!?! When they have their nail parties, I'm hunched over books, smoth jazz blasting in the background, and a passerby asking me who Sade is. Gosh. I thought that coming to college meant that you find where you belong, or at least meet with others who are somewhat like you. One's maturity does not mean they have no fleshly desires as other human members. Hm.

Chimene