College & People & Identity & People

How do you survive school?

You know who you are and who you are not.

...and when people see that you're not the mass-produced product they are, the key is to not try to conform to them. Because they'll try to make you feel bad for not coming from a mold. They'll attempt to use exclusion as a tool to accentuate your separation from their comfort in joint identity.

And then I think to myself: if artists were to give into apologizing for being completely unique in their way of thinking, general disposition, etc. they would never be who they are today because they would have enveloped their time in smearing "ordinary" over their individuality. But now, what makes them different in their expression also makes them respected amongst their peers and the rest of the world.

For me, the choice of being who I am always means separating the people around me into 7 different groups, so I know who I need to spend my precious time around:

1. Keepers- These are the people I keep close because they add to me.

2. Liabilities- these are the people I keep at a distance because being around them causes me to be something contrary to my identity.

3. Sappers- These are the people to whom I find myself giving, giving, and giving myself to, but they NEVER can make our exchange equal by giving of themselves to our friendship.

4. Acquaintences- These are the many many people who I really don't "know" on a very deep level apart from seeing them every now and then in habitual places. These are the people I make small talk with, and can enjoy the minutes I spend with them because I know they don't know too much about me, so I can keep it short, sweet, and lighthearted.

5. Spiritual Supporters- These are the VERY FEW people who I know will pray for me and not talk about me; will support me even if it means a slight inconvenience for them, will be honest with me and stand firm in their honesty (meaning even when I get a bit mad), and who make it their business to keep in touch with me even if I can't be as faithful returning the favor.

6. Lesson Teachers- LOL! These are the people who I think are my friends, but are still in the incubation phase of getting to know me deeper. These people can be friends with me for months, and I will drop them so fast they won't even know it. Why? Because I saw something in them that set off an alarm or told me they will not be someone with whom I want my NAME tagged alongside in the future. However, my relationship with them was beneficial while it lasted because I learned lessons about life, friendship, myself, etc. while with them.

7. Network Connections- These people teach me lessons about the logistical, "important" things in life, like business info, networking, and making myself be the best educated woman I can possibly be.

Chimene Jackson